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[Sunday
September 10th, 2006
5:41pm] |
i have a new journal.
ive added all of you
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[Wednesday
August 30th, 2006
10:34pm] |
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mood |
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 apathetic |
] |
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music |
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day one- explosions in the sky |
] |
Find your own pose!
that is completely true. but i dont get why its called the colon pose.
i miss david. especially since we broke up. this sucks a lot.
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[Thursday
August 24th, 2006
5:52pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
] |
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music |
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counting backwards- the velvet teen |
] |
attempted to take senior pictures yesterday, have 3 i like.
( pictures )
also i love this song and i think im getting sick.
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[Tuesday
August 22nd, 2006
12:54am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 shitty |
] |
| [ |
music |
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your last words-the velvet teen |
] |
well if boys arent dumb they definitly can make me feel very good and very bad. now being the latter.
do you hear that
that's your heartbeat
counting you down to your last words
do you feel it crawl down your skin
hands clutching your mouth
to stop them from coming out at all
but you don't, cause you can't cross yourself
it can be all you have sometimes
it's a spark, it's enough
to pull you on your feet
pumping your fits in the air
i'll show them all what you are
and this time, you won't get away
cause i'm kicking your teeth to the curb
you want it so take it, don't want to see you
you're the star
giving it all for the bright lights
think of all the money when you've everyone falling for your...
and if you don't mind
just leave me out of your dirty money
you're just stalling
living it up for a false start
don't call me when you're broken-heated and everyone's turning on you
do you hear that
that's your heartbeat
counting you down to your last words
when it all runs out, i'll be watching you
clutching your head
to stop the room from spinning round
but you don't, cause you can't cross yourself
it can be all you have sometimes
it's a spark, it's enough
to pull you on your feet
pumping your fits in the air
i'll show them all what you are
and this time, you won't get away
cause i'm kicking your teeth to the curb
you want it so take it, don't want to see you
you're the star
giving it all for the bright lights
think of all the money when you've everyone falling for your...
and if you don't mind
just leave me out of your plastic party
you're just stalling
living it up for a false start
don't call me when you're broken-heated and everyone's turning on you
too late, we're on a road to nowhere else
taking our time to pull you down
and i'm tired of taking my chances
i'm gonna let you
i'm gonna let you down
do what you want to
i'm gonna let you
i'm gonna let you down
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[Sunday
August 20th, 2006
10:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 nervous |
] |
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music |
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tacobel canon- ratatat |
] |
goddammit sometimes i really hate boys. why cant things be easy. and stay the same, like how i want them to.
so surround me,
i need anything and you you're everything
i want to live like i did
before all this hit. to sleep
in your arms,
to think, we'll never fall apart
and oh. you know its, you know
its such a drag
to live your life for a heart attack.
to never get a second chance to say goodbye,
to say goodbye
ill never get to try. you just dont see me anymore.
now ive been losing everything.
you just dont see me anymore.
ill say goodbye.
the format=ftw
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| i know a place where the smiles last for days |
[Friday
August 18th, 2006
12:37am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 in a general bad mood |
] |
| [ |
music |
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gone-dispatch |
] |
so im back from north carolina.
it was cool to be there but my grandma is not very grandmotherly and i didnt really do a lot while i was there, which kindof sucks. i think tomorrow or sometime im going to post some pictures, cause my hair is shorter and i have a lot of exciting clothes.
yesterday completely sucked, flying to/from north carolina is like, painful. i had a really long layover in seattle, it was supposed to be about 5 hours but it ended up being about 6 hours. and i called david because i really really really wanted to see him and i was like a fucking hour away but i couldnt. and im sure he had good reasons but STILL. i dont know when the next time im going to be near the seattle area is. and so i was kindof annoyed and in a super bad mood the whole day anyways. and i havent talked to him since then (it feels like more than a day ago) cause he has his japanese final tomorrow and then he will be done with the class which is good because he allllways has homework. ugh. i dont want to be the crazy needy psycho bitch but i feel like thats what i am. i am not sure what exactly is going on.
i talked to someone else from billys party who said im awesome, apparently drunk parties with college boys is a good place to find guys who think im attractive? they arent particularly appealing boys though, even if i was single i wouldnt want to date them.
im so tiiiiiiired and school starts monday. im taking
ap spanish
ap art history
ap econ
yoga
ap english
free period
woo lots of ap classes. i have no idea how this year is going to go. my free period is going to be my college prep time according to mom.
i talked to mr denick tonight and oh man. lol i talked to him for a long time about europe and stuff and i was really hyper anyways and i kept waving my arms around and stuff and he laughed at me. i really really hope he has 6th period free so i can hang out in his classroom. i still think hes hot. he has a beard now too. but it looks a lot better than the one he had last year. i was glad i got to see people tonight, i hadnt seen john all summer and id seen kate once. i dont have any classes with kris harper and it makes me sad :( well we both have 6th free, but that doesnt really count.
ok i love this song
( gone )
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[Friday
August 11th, 2006
11:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 pleased |
] |
| [ |
music |
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live dispatch |
] |
oh my god i love north carolina so much. i know i was only 7 when i left but its my home. i love the southern food and how the people talk and oh man i missed it. im glad i came now, even if it is awkward with my grandma. weve gone shopping a lot and ive read 5 books since i left fairbanks. i havent seen my grandpa much either but ehh. i got my grandpas class ring (my real grandpa, the one married to my grandma is my step grandpa) and its cool. its from 1952 and its gold and has a big g for greensboro high. it doesnt really fit but thats ok. we call him granddaddy and my other grandpa pawpaw and my grandma suesue.
today was the rehearsal for the wedding and that was boring but the dinner was soo good. it was barbaque and beans and coleslaw. i havent had good coleslaw in FOREVER. and the tea is the best. ive never liked tea but i like this stuff, probably because its sweet tea. its weird that calebs getting married. his best man is this guy named peter who has these massive awesome sideburns and a really deep voice(i love it!). he drove down with caleb and so we ate breakfast with them before they left, me and steven and my parents and maybe thomas. and so we were talking to him today and introducing everyone and dads like oh you must remember steven and hes like noo, mostly i remember her, caitlin (and points to me). what does that mean? and then calebs brother who is probably like 20? has a ton of tattoos. i want to find out how many he has.
i think im going to see my (step) cousins on sunday. there is katherine and luke and cole and jordan. cole is going to be sophomore in college and katherine will be a junior and luke is my age and jordan is a little older than thomas. its weird because i havent seen them in a looong time, at least 5 or 6 years. steven has never seen them. and we will see my uncle martin who is in a band! a bluegrass band. hes like 40 and still single and has had lots of different jobs. i love his accent, i think, its been almost 4 years since ive seen him though. i wish north carolina was closer to ak, its a bitch flying there. it takes longer to get there then to europe (on condor).
i would really like to go to school here, except its far away. and david is in seattle. but who knows what things will be like at this time next year. i shouldnt pick where i go because of a boy. i miss him a lot though. he doesnt email me as much and it makes me sad. oh well. he cant be perfect.
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[Sunday
August 6th, 2006
1:34am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 nostalgic |
] |
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music |
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sweet love- kaskade |
] |
Oh, Oh maybe, we were made
We were made for each other
Ahh, is it possible for the
World to look this way forever?
Ahhh, Ahhh...
I talked so much, I'm sure
I didn't realize I'd gone crazy
Didn't catch my bloody nose
Or that my heart tried to explode
I still live with my High School friends
Some people never change at all
We're still the same compulsive drunks
We were when we were small
poppy guilty pleasure music makes me happy. that is a jacks mannequin song, fyi
i leave tomorrow and im not ready to and i dont really want to. it seems like i always miss a lot when i leave, and then im totally out of the loop with all my friends. and god dammit i need money, therefore i need a job, which i cant get til i get back.
david went and saw the velvet teen tonight and i am jealous. because they are kindof well known, and it was like a 10 dollar show. and they arent bad (they arent my favorite, but i like them) but it has been SO LONG since i have been to a show and i miss going to them.
i miss david a lot because i havent been talking to him as much. he was online tonight and i was waiting for him to email me but he didnt :( i am such an awkward person sometimes.
oh god this kaskade song makes me think of our tent in switzerland and trains and i miss it soo much. even though the tent was cold and i was cranky and we all slid down to the end of the tent and made funny noises and i was sunburned but the veiw OH THE VIEW was right there and so pretty and amazing. and the trains were fast and quiet and awkward because i am too loud but they were so cool because ive only been on trains in europe and every train we went on meant we were going to a new exciting amazing place. im going back, i already know it. im planning on it.
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[Monday
July 31st, 2006
9:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 pissed off |
] |
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music |
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noi boi- the velvet teen |
] |
fuck you dad
for lots of things
tonight i burned dinner, and my arm, and it hurts a lot. and i am just angry and in a bad mood.
im glad my mom is coming home tomorrow night. (what a change from last summer!)
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[Sunday
July 30th, 2006
4:34am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 intoxicated somewhat |
] |
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music |
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david talking |
] |
i love parties
and being loud
and lots of people
and talking to david
and not throwing up
and mallory!!!!
and today is her birthday!!!!
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[Wednesday
July 19th, 2006
5:29pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
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your hand in mine- explosions in the sky |
] |
my grandpa died today. im not terribly upset because i wasnt super close to him or anything cause my grandparents live in california but its kindof sad. he wasnt doing very well though.
my dad and i are flying down sometime friday i think, he hasnt made plane reservations yet. i should be back by wednesday but im not really sure.
this si weird. i havent been to a funeral in a long time.
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[Friday
July 14th, 2006
11:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 giggly |
] |
| [ |
music |
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tropicana- ratatat |
] |
oh man im in SUCH a good mood now.
i went and saw pirates 2 with sara and my dad and brother and that was really good and me and sara talked about hanging out some and maybe having a party of something soon, because multiple people will be house sitting.
and then i got home and i had 2 emails from david and a bunch of comments and hes so cute and it made me laugh a lot and smile.
"the internet is a big, lonely place without you here. "
BOYS ARE SO GREAT BUT THEY LIVE SO FAR AWAY :(((((((((
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[Tuesday
July 11th, 2006
4:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
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what can i say-dj dangermouse (jay-z and the beatles) |
] |
real emails from people are the best. especially ones from boys who i like but live far away:(
annnnnd, i got an email from kris, who i havent talked to since before school got out. so hopefully well hang out soon.
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[Sunday
June 25th, 2006
12:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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steppin out-kaskade |
] |
i dont want to pack again. i dont want to leave tomorrow and im angry that only mallory has made an attempt to hang out with me, because im not going to see anyone else until the middle of july.
dammit i just want to pout. im bored and theres nothing to do and no one to talk to.
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| when in rome, do as the romans |
[Saturday
June 24th, 2006
7:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 angry |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the format |
] |
days 1, 2, 3, 4 in europe.
( woooooo europe )
oh and im leaving on monday, but instead of coming back on the 9th i guess im coming back on the 18th, because i have to go to california after going to the quaker conference
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[Sunday
June 18th, 2006
11:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 hot |
] |
in paris
it is insanely hot, i thought i was going to melt today. ive been buying lots of clothes. sara and i watched the world cup game toda with south korea and frane and there were all these koreans in the hostel and they were so loud, it was so muh fun. i leave on thursday, and im exited but i wish i could sta longer kindof. it will be reall nice to have the omforts of home again, like a washing machine and lots of clothes and music whenever i want it. i onl have 4 or 5 pairs of underwear, and i bought new socks so that i would have more than like 3 pairs. washing things in the sink sucks. and my pants and shorts and skirt are big, so i think ive lost some weight. or theyve stretched a lot. but ive been walking a hell of a lot.
so i ome home thursday at like 1, or 11, i dont remember which. and then i leave again on the 26th or the 27th
ive been taking lots of pictures :))
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| oh man |
[Thursday
June 1st, 2006
12:52am] |
| [ |
mood |
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nervous |
] |
| [ |
music |
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daft punk |
] |
leaving tomorrow at 3:25, i have to be at the airport at 12:30
i come back on the 23rd at like 1:30.
going to germany, italy, switzerland and france. man im nervous even though ive gone on trips like this before.
and then i leave again on the 26th to go to washington/oregon area to look at colleges and go to that stupid quaker conference for a week. and then im going to north carolina sometime.
if you want me to write you i need your address
i hung out with alex today and it was fun but sad because we said goodbye and he told me he loved me. i think its the first time ive actually had like a heartfelt goodbye before he left.
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[Tuesday
May 16th, 2006
8:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 oh god finals |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the format |
] |
i got new glasses
( Read more... )
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caitygirl16's journal
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